Behind the Mask: Robin

[Robin]

Name:

Hannah R. E.


Nicknames:

Han, Nan, Nana (Sister) Nana Bear (Genetic Mother) Nanny Boo (Great Gramma) Hannah Montana, Hannah Banana (Everyone asking to get hit) Emma (Confusion... of teachers. Free jolly ranchers)


Zodiac:

Scorpio


Chinese Zodiac:

Dragon


Personality Type:

INTP


Motto:

Don't really have one...


Dreams:

To get wings. Dragon wings. Attached to my body. And not a tattoo.
To be well-off so I can be lazy


Goals:

To never have children
To move to Canada
To get back to being able to stay up past three am and still be able to function in the morning and not fall asleep again


Ailments/Issues/Condition/Diseases:

ADHD, Impulsiveness, Anger Management Issues, Depressions(mild-severe), Asocial Tendencies, Mild Agoraphobia(Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.), Mild Astraphobia(Fear of Storms/Thunder and Lightning), Somniphobia(Fear of Sleep(for me specifically, dying in my sleep by natural or unnatural means)), Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Addictive-Style Personality, Extreme Actual Trust Issues, Procrastination, Apathy, Low Self-Confidence, ATYCHIPHOBIA, and possible Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder(It hasn't been confirmed, but nor has it been denied), BPD

I also have a prolapsed heart valve and an irregular heartbeat. A protein intake disorder, and I'm legally half blind right now. Did I mention agraphobia? Definitely agraphobia.


Height:

5'1" to 5'2" (Shortie TwT)


Weight:

110-120 Lbs.


Hair Colour:

I'm... not quite sure. I... think it's dark ash brown ._. It gets hints of Auburn and Gold in the summer. Natural highlights as well. Very fine, but apparently it has "volume". To me it just looks really frizzy. The ends are ridiculously curly, but only the ends. It doesn't seem able to grow past more than my shoulders...


Eye Colour:

Blue-Gray, Stormy Blue, Light Gray-Blue, Gunmetal Gray


Facial Features:

I have faint freckles, but they're there.


Gender:

Female


Age:

14


Birthday:

November 19th, 2000 AND December 21st, 2000


Heritage:

Prussia, Russia, Germany, Switzerland

So these peeps;






Religion:

Atheism. I just don't care. It's stupid. Believe what you will, peeps.


Location:

The story is I was born in Canada and kidnapped at birth ._.

Currently I live about half an hour's drive from Omaha, Nebraska in a small town. Which i won't tell because it's a small town.


Nationality:

Amerinadian


Style:

Jeans and whatever t-shirt I grab. Same with shorts. I despise dresses, and the first thing I look for in clothes is comfort, then convenience. Accesories though... I always have a bronze/copper ring with two silver bands running around it on my left index/pointer finger. Since it was gifted to me by the love of my life, a gold over platinum locket with 1/8 cut diamonds is on any time my Adoptive Mother is not around. DIAMONDS PEOPLE DIAMONDS. Copper and bronze are two of my favourite metals for rings and such, along with silver. Favourite gems... Eeeh I'll figure that out later. I wear a ton of jackets and sweaters. It's like... my thing. Jacket or a sweater, boots, jeans. Outfit for the day. I wear other stuff only to appease my Mother. If I get the chance, I tend to not even get out of the clothes I wore when i went to sleep. Thus being so, I'm in my pajamas... a lot...


Sexuality:

Demisexual. Look it up if you don't know.


Theme Songs:

(Nightcore)Fly On The Wall - Thousand Foot Krutch


A Fake, Fake Psychotropic - Gumi


Heart Attack - Demi Lavato


It's Raining Tacos - Parry Grip


(Nightcore)Where The Lonely Ones Roam - Digital Dagger


The Devil Inside - Digital Dagger


Where Did The Party Go - Fall Out Boy


Education:

Eighth Grader

I take Sophomore math classes because it's the only advanced class currently available

I am in Band, and love it (Flautists ftw!)

I have taken the ACT(College level entry exam) in Seventh grade. I scored a 31/36, with perfect marks in reading, and near perfect marks in English.


Sleeping Positions:

I sleep majorly on my stomach, very occasionally on my side. Sleeping on my back is actually somewhat painful. Thus so, I tend to sleep in the freefaller position, although stomach variations of the foetus especially and the yearner are common. Occasionally I'll do the stomach soldier. When on my side, it's almost exclusively the yearner or foetus. Nightmares are a commonality, as are no dreams of any kind at all. The two move in cycles.




Under the Shell

Likes:

Apples, fruit in general, popsicles, tomatoes, scones, orange juice, cheetoh puffs, candy legos, shiny/sparkly things, League of Legends, anime, manga, archery, badmitton, LOTE, cherry blossoms, sweaters, jackets, Otter,writing, reading, fantasy, rp, fanfiction, Mountain Dew, cookies, jello, computers, phone, dragons, mermaids, debating, knowing what others think of me in all aspects, knowing what's going on, speed role playing, ribbons, victorian era dresses, cosplaying, ramen, cup ramen, creamy chicken ramen, shrimp ramen, the few true friends I have, blood, gore, horror, challenges, things that "flow", soft things, leather, spikes, collars, bandanas, red, black, gray, fish, cats, seclusion, jeans, boots, movies, drawing, youtubing, music, fishing, hockey, moving fast, and messing with people


Dislikes:

There are far, far too many... A majority of what isn't listed up there pretty much. I'll give you the big ones though...

People who are extremely stupid/never get it, hospitals, the elderly, the young(especially babies), saliva, asymmetry, popular kids(pops),  kids who think they're going through some tough sh*t when it's really nothing at all, dependency, not "getting" something, change, not knowing what to do, and especially, ESPECIALLY, being controlled by my emotions, false information, betrayal, gramatically incorrect people, moving slow


Personality:

This is a... very complicated and confusing thing to explain. I'll try, best I can. But it's going to be long as f*ck.

When you first meet me, I'll probably seem rather cold and distant. I'm not a great fan of strangers, and I'm not really a social person. I probably won't talk too much either. Sometimes it may seem like I'm not listening, or not paying attention, but I'm great at multitasking. I pay attention to what's going on with those around me a lot, although I have trouble focusing on what's going on with myself. Emotions are hard for me to understand, mine and others. I think I feel a lot of things, but I don't recognize them. I get confused a lot, which I really don't like, and I have real trouble focusing sometimes. sometimes something will bug me, other times it won't. I get headaches a lot, and tire pretty easily. My memory is pretty good, but there are parts of it that sometimes become foggy and distorted. I have a pessi-optimistic personality, being one sometimes and the other times. I don't care about a lot of things, but other times I'll analyze something carefully. I don't like letting people really know about me, and often won't start revealing anything about myself to them until I know them, or most importantly, until I know their weaknesses. I am a person of polar opposites and an ever-changing mood. My temper is volatile, but compassion, pity, sympathy, and empathy are hard for me to feel. I worry about more than I should, and am prone to stressing myself out over small things. I have a good work ethic when I actually... work, and my atychiphobia ensures that I want it to be excellent work when it's something important.

However, despite all of this, I tend to show only an optimistic, slightly quiet person when confronted with the real world. I don;t like seeing other people, especially those I actually care for, feeling bad, and I can throw up an incredible kind front when in situations like that. I can act a lot of ways I don't feel. Most of my emotions I bottle, so as to never harm those close to me. When I'm confronted with something I've done bad, I get extremely paranoid, and want nothing more to get out of there or just shrink or fade away into nothing. I also get pissed beyond measure. So when tension arises between me and other people, I tend to try to remain completely silent and avoid them for a while. Every time I get angry, I feel like crap after for getting angry, no matter who it was at or why I was angry. I daydream a lot, and have been told I'm very creative, although I really don't think so.  I read, write, and draw to escape the world I live in, and to relieve the intense boredom I feel most of the time.

I've been told I'm very creative, very intelligent, and other things along that line. Honestly, I don't think so.I focus solely on one thing: fantasy. My dreams, my drawings, my thoughts and ideas. I am a fanatical person. I like to imagine that some day I'll wake up and I'll have super powers, or I'll find out I'm destined to save a world, or that someone will just come and take me away. I can see photographs move sometimes, and I have a tendency to talk to my stuffed animals and tiger posters, even "asking them" what their names are, what they like, etcetera. A lot of times, I can fall into a state of detachment, feeling nothing, just repeating the same cycle over and over again mindlessly. Nothing matters, I simply don't care. I'll sit staring at a wall for hours on end, just not moving. Most often this happens when something happens around me and i don't like it. If it gets bad enough, I can go to the point where I just want to go to sleep and not wake up again until everything is perfect once again. I am a creature of habit, and I don't like it when my habit is broken. I don't like it at all.

Whenever something changes or when I get interrupted after planning, I tend to get more pissed off than ever. I'm also very possessive. A lot of times when I get mad, it'll float away within half an hour or so, although it can easily be rekindled. My temper is one of the most volatile things about me, although I try to keep it bottled inside. When I get mad, my immediate reaction is to attack who or what ever angered me. Not just physically either. My rage can be cool and sharp, but it can also be fiery and explosive. I'm not afraid to do disgusting things to get revenge on people, and I can hold grudges for years on end. A lot of times, if I actually speak when I get mad, my only goal is to hurt the person. Since a majority of the people I actually speak to when I get angry are those that are close to me, because I'm around them most, I tend to lash out at them, saying things I know is going to  hurt them. A good example is if, imagine, that somebody told you that they loved you and never wanted to lose you. Then imagine, in a fit of rage, you told them that you hated them. Imagine what it would feel like. That's the kind of thing I do. That's the thought process that goes through my mind. What's going to hurt them. What's going to make them be in pain. How much it will hurt them. It's a spiteful and malicious thought process. Many, many times, when I get angry enough, I don't understand what I did, what I'm doing. Everything becomes red, and all I want to do is see them in pain. Make them see red, make them hurt, make them cry, make them break down and fall apart into a thousand little pieces. It's like... when I'm mad, I know what I'm doing. But when I stop being mad, I lose the ability to recognize what it was I did, why I did, and even what happened. My anger scares me, honestly, and sometimes I wonder if I have angrophobia. If anything, it's very possible I do. I exhibit many symptoms common to those diagnosed with it, but I stopped seeing a therapist years ago, so I wouldn't know. I only know what I've had confirmed. I can feel it there, eating away at my consciousness every day. It's hard to keep under control. It is, essentially, as strong as me. Like I said, I hate getting angry, I try to squash the feelings as soon as they arise, as soon as I recognize them. But that's the hard part. How can you recognize something when you have to stop being it to know it existed?

That's mostly the reason it scares me. I'm scared of a lot of things. Things that scare me I tend to avoid as much as possible, especially if they're because of common triggers. My fear and anger are both on hair triggers, like most of my other emotions. It doesn't take a lot to cow me or make me wary of you, but it does take a lot to get me shaking. When my fear or anger is because of something or someone, my reaction when actually thinking about it is to stay as far away from them as possible, despite any other emotions. Conflict is my worst enemy, besides myself. When actually confronted, I want away. If i can't get away, I get scared. Really scared. And through some twisted part of my mind, that fear becomes intense rage. I get defensive easily, and because of my past, I am suspicious of everyone. Of what everything they do and say means, of what it could mean, of what they do during stretches of time I don't know where they are, what they're doing.

Many times I've been told I have addiction problems. I don't think so, yet I do. I recognize that the amounts of time I put into some things are absolutely ridiculous, but I don't believe it to be wrong. I don't believe that focusing on something and devoting your time to it is bad. I don't believe there is such a thing as too much when it comes to the things I like, to the things I enjoy. To the few fleeting things that make me happy. I don't think a little bit of manipulating is bad, nor do I believe that breaking some of the rules is entirely bad. Breaking them actually gives me a little bit of exhilaration. Just a little bit. I understand that there's a dark and dangerous part to this world, and I understand sometimes you have to do some nasty sh*t to get what you want. Sometimes, you have to lie, cheat, and steal. The biggest question you have to ask is if it's important enough to do it for. The key is to never get caught. To think all aspects through, and try to cover up as many as possible. The lines between good and bad are blurred for me. There are some things I won't do, but there are a lot I will. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever even existed.

I like to challenge the normal thought processes of people. To make them think about the other side of things. A side they normally wouldn't consider. Something that really irks me is the definition of right and wrong. The definition of normal. Who is to say that this is normal, and that isn't? Who is to say that this is bad, and that that isn't? Who is to condemn you as insane? Who is to call you a freak? I wonder, but that's all i can do.

I'm a naturally insecure person. I hate looking at myself in a mirror, because all I can see are my flaws. Everything I do, from drawing to walking to even being, I question whether I am doing it right. What I look like to others. What others think of me. Small details are so easy to see, but the big picture has always evaded me. I doubt I'll ever really see it. Pros are so hard to see... why try to see the pros when it's just so much easier to find the cons? My thought process is a little backwards sometimes. Work from the back, from the bottom to the top instead the top to the bottom. Find the bad, then use the bad to ascertain the good.

I'm also very naturally curious, partly because of this. A part of me is willing to do anything to find out the answer to a question, but my own lazy nature often prevents me from doing the things I want to do. Google is one of my best friends. So are quiz sites, like quotev. When it comes to knowledge from things like quizzes, I tend to not particularly care if they're entirely true or not, although I'll often take several quizzes of the same nature to determine if they're even partially correct. When it comes to things besides quizzes though, false information is something I really, really hate. Which leads into my dislike for being wrong. I have a somewhat analytical nature, often setting aside time to observe something, sometimes for days one end, before making a move. Misinformed choices are my nightmare. I don't like being rushed. yet at the same time, I loathe it when things go too slow. Going fast, moving fast, is something I greatly enjoy.

Rain says I'm too negative... but I can't really see what's good about me... so I guess if you want a list of that, you'll either have to come up with one on your own, or talk to him...


History:

Alright, lemme give this a go... I have a screwed up childhood. I don't remember anything until about age 5, and my current mother says that anything before is a fabricated imagining except for a few key moments. Apparently, I had two abusive step dads, and was most often left with my Great Grandma for the first couple years. I have two older half brothers, and one younger sister. A story I've heard is that one of my step-dads actually took my sister and I hostage once, and they called in the SWAT team to get us out. Obviously, I don't remember that. My brothers, who were only a few years older than me, were left to take care of my sister and I more often than not. It's from this period of time I acquired a habit of running away and hiding from just about everyone. I didn't have my ADHD medicine back then either, so I was a little hellion. Did I mention I'm a bastard child?
Eventually we moved in with our Great Grandma. Life was pretty good there, I think. We had these nasty neighbours though, who were constantly picking on me and my sister. When they moved out, I was happy. Except this little girl moved in after, and she was a little b*tch. I know I stole an absolute crap ton of her stuff. The way I saw it, she didn't deserve it. Back then, nobody deserved anything nice to me.
Let's see.... after that, we went to live with our Dad after a custody battle. It was a tiny apartment, with a yard the size of a bathroom. Literally. Everything we had came from the thrift shop. Yogurt and spaghetti-O's was my diet, along with my sister. Then our dad met my current mom, and after some time they got married and we moved in with her.
All was okay for a while, but there's something you have to know. On my Moms side, she, her dad, and her mom were all alcoholics. She was also a druggie. On my dad's side, just he was an alcoholic and a druggie. This is why I struggle with an addictive-style personality. My dad started taking drugs again, so eventually he and my step-mom divorced. We went to live out in the country. This wasn't until I was nine though.
Out in the country, we lived next to an apple orchard and a lake. A lot of times, my sister and I would go running around a lot. We lived off school lunches, cheese balls, ice cream, and noodles. Lots and lots of ramen noodles. Then, one Thursday night, my dad just suddenly groaned and fell over. I thought he'd just fallen asleep, being the naive nine year old me. The next morning, our dad failed to wake us up, We thought he was still sleeping. The whole day, we quietly sneaked around the house until it was about the time we normally got home. We went to wake him up, but he was frozen stiff. We could only see the whites of his eyes, and there were bubbles of blood in his nose. I called my ex-step mom, and she called 911.
After that, we were thrust into the foster care. All these little bug bites and hives i'd gotten from a case of poison sumac I picked at incessantly, which scarred up nearly all my legs and arms. It was my way of self-harm. I ran away a lot, staying out for entire nights even. I was in a very bad state of mind. When we finally got back with our now ex-step mom as a foster parent, it took almost a year for us to get adopted. At this point in my life, I was probably the most violent I've ever been, even though I've always been somewhat violent. i took a little girl and threw her into a couch for heaven's sake! All she did was grab my arm. I yelled at everyone, full out attacked people, and lied about everything for absolutely no reason. They put me in therapy, and things started to get slightly better.
My ex-step-adoptive mom and I don't always get along so very well, so we fight quite a bit. She's emotional, and the only emotions I feel particularly strongly are rage and apathy, if they even count. I like the internet, she doesn't. in fact, she hates this site. I'd be dead for life if she found out I was on here. Frequently I get grounded. if I get into a fight, I often just stand there with my fists clenched and mouth shut, because I know she'll never really lsiten or understand what i try to say. it'll really only make things worse.

The End.

What I Look Like:

With Glasses(I took this in the middle of the night...)



With Contacts... And make-up... They forced it on me...



Aaaand,.. with my fabulous curl THAT REFUSES TO DISAPPEAR NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I SMOOTH IT DOWN SOMETIMES

[Robin]

I ADDED PICTURES.

screw internet safety.

my hair's a mess. I need a pic of me with my bangs down.

[Tsuki]

YAY! I GOT A COOKIE

[Robin]

I need to edit this....and put in the pictures I wan gonna put in.....ah well.

GOOD FO YOU. TRY TO GO GET A COOKIE FROM JAY ON HIS WAR BIOS.

[Guest]

I finally read about everyone! I tis a stalker! I think I should make one about my strange and awkward life..... -shrug shrug- Hey, I know what to put for history and stuff.... like da seven times I moved..... :I

[Tsuki]

After reading your history (third time?) I was ultimately jealous :[

/me wonders how you were able to sum all of that up in '323' words...

I tried to be as short as possible with mine and it ended up like... A couple hundred over 2000... I try to add as little detail as possible.... AND STILL. I missed like four points and I wanted to hit my face on something... I'm pretty sure I have CDO...

[Robin]

Well. Well. WELL. I EDITED THIS, FOR TWO HOURS, AND IM STILL NOWHERE NEAR DONE. I'M SOMEWHAT ANNOYED AT HOW MUCH WORK I HAVE LEFT TO DO. I'LL DO IT LATER. BUT TI'S UPDATED.

....KINDA

[Thundo Puffs]

OMG DUDE. DUDE. My number one goal in my dreams is to grow dragon wings! Not in real life of course..but that would be epic. I have a dream journal and everything so I can remember my dreams and try to get to lucidity. I have a few times..and I managed to sorta fly, though I have never been able to get wings yet. ;_; Though once in a dream, a non-lucid one, I was a dictator and could turn into a freaking dragon. It was the greatest feeling, mostly since people feared me and I could do anything I wanted. mwahahaha! WE SHOULD TEAM UP TOGETHER, BE DRAGONS, AND DOMINATE THIS WORLD.

Oh,  and apparently your zodiac is actually Sagittarius. Jayfeathers is Scorpio though.  

Saggittarius: November 22 - December 21

Scorpio: October 23 - November 21

[Tsuki]

Meet Autumn(❤)

[Robin]

OMG DUDE. DUDE. My number one goal in my dreams is to grow dragon wings! Not in real life of course..but that would be epic. I have a dream journal and everything so I can remember my dreams and try to get to lucidity. I have a few times..and I managed to sorta fly, though I have never been able to get wings yet. ;_; Though once in a dream, a non-lucid one, I was a dictator and could turn into a freaking dragon. It was the greatest feeling, mostly since people feared me and I could do anything I wanted. mwahahaha! WE SHOULD TEAM UP TOGETHER, BE DRAGONS, AND DOMINATE THIS WORLD.

Oh,  and apparently your zodiac is actually Sagittarius. Jayfeathers is Scorpio though.  

Saggittarius: November 22 - December 21

Scorpio: October 23 - November 21

Actually, my zodiac is Scorpio. Jayfeather and I... we play a little game... just to confuse people... every other year we switch birthdays. So... Originally I'm a Scorpio, and he's a Saggittatius. But this year he's a Scorpio and I'm a Saggittarius. You have NOOOOOOOO idea how funny it is watching people think they have the right b-day and then discover its WRONG. SO funny. Also gets double the gifts XP

Oh, and I actually want wings. I was thinking something along the lines of having custom made wings that can fold up flat against my back, and sized to fit, and are lifelike, then doing something somewhat like a subdermal implant to insert the bases of the wings into my back. But I'd be happy to be a dragon with you! I looooooooove dragons! They're my favourite animal!

[Thundo Puffs]

Well, that is very interesting...and clever.

[Robin]

Thanks...

I UPDATED THIS FINALLY. ITS DONE. the personality is hella long...

[Rain]

All I wanna say is; BRUH. xD
Hi. How are you, Guest?

[Thundo Puffs]

YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Robin]

Ya butss XD I need to update this too, really bad...

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